I just realised that I'm about to finish my first round of chemo tablets! After tomorrow I get a 7 day break. I wonder if my side effects will clear or will they linger. I'll let you know when I know!
I went to the dentist today. I don't have plain old check ups anymore. Now they are 'Chemo check ups'. Well it is actually the same thing, but having chemo can reek havoc with your teeth and gums so it's more important than ever to keep a close eye on things.
I used to really fear going to the dentist. A lot. Today, I was more concerned with the fact I would have to drive there instead of riding my bike and therefore have to find a parking spot.
The dentist was pretty pleased with how I'm going. I need two fillings, just to start with. Come to think of it, my teeth have probably never been in worse shape. BUT, from what he has seen of chemo patients, I'm doing very well.
He did say that he was seeing a lot of evidence of me grinding my teeth, which is not at all surprising considering the stressful situation I'm in, but also it is surprising as I have not been suffering from any significant jaw pain, which I am prone to.
So I have to start wearing my splint. I don't like it. But that is my bad attitude talking. I'm lucky to have one. Such a simple and easy solution. And he also suggested I start flossing twice a day not just once.
I also had my blood tests today. Not just my usual pre-chemo tests but also another one from the geneticist. It came to four vials of blood! I had it from my right arm as my left is still a tiny bit tender from the cannula on Monday.
The blood test today actually marked a bit of a milestone. For the first time ever, I did not bother telling the blood-test-person that I'm afraid of needles. I recognised her from a previous visit so I knew she was nice and good at it (they all are though!). She recognised me about half way through, while I had my head turned the other way, and remembered me.
I also worked this afternoon, and walked there and back. It's been a beautiful and hot sunny day. Walking to work really never stops being wonderful. Walking home is slightly harder work as its up hill, and today when I got out of puff I get paranoid about my health. Which is pointless. And understandable. But still pointless.
Tonight I need to work on a presentation. I agreed to do a short talk at a cancer forum in a couple of weeks. I'm really grateful for the opportunity, and slightly confused that they asked me. And now I'm panicking! It probably just feelings of scanxiety leaking into it. After all, what is the worse that can happen? It's certainly no big deal in the scheme of things.
So to summarise:
- Bits of me are still in good shape.
- I've become much more chilled out about some things that used to totally terrify me
- I'm starting to worry about some things which there is nothing to worry about
- Walking is still totally awesome.
You are so inspiring, awesome, brave. You're coping with such a lot, Flis, and showing signs of personal growth at the same time. I think you're amazing.ReplyDelete
Love Anna x