Today is one year to the day since I first got my worrying symptoms. The symptoms that lead to the investigations that lead to my diagnosis.
It's not the day I found out I had cancer. Its definitely not the day I got cancer - that day will never be known. It's not a day that cancer entered my thoughts.
It's the day that something changed though. Things had been changing already of course, in my body. But I'd been unaware.
On Tuesday the 14th July 2015 things started changing in my life. And it just kept going. I thought it would be a minor blip and I'd get right back on track. It wasn't.
It just kept escalating. And now it's been a year. I've cancelled plans, I've stepped back at work, I've had surgery. I'm still having chemo. I've had to make so many sacrifices and compromises.
I spent a long time thinking at some point things would 'go back to normal'. It was hard to accept that this is my new normal. In many ways I'm still adjusting.
And now what? In just under a week will be a year to the day I got my diagnosis of cancer. The week after it'll be the CT scan. Next month will see the anniversary of my bowel surgery. Am I going to keep ticking off these new, and not particularity happy anniversaries?
Well yes, I probably will.
But I will also be keeping these important factors in mind:
I'm still here.
I can't even attempt to explain what that means to me.
Life is still happening.
It's not just my 'cancerversary' today. Its my brother-in-laws Birthday (Happy Birthday mate!). Its a stunning, crazy day in Hobart with snow and horrible strong winds and sun and rain and rainbows. Its summer in the UK. There's an infinite amount of terrible and wonderful things happening right now.
So here's to many many more years. I'm tempted to not venture outside today as the weather is so wild, but I will enjoy today anyway. I have a ridiculously huge amount of things to be grateful for.
The view through my window today. That's right, I didn't even step outside for the photo!