Wednesday 1 February 2017

Round 28 - Late

Round 29 is due tomorrow and I still haven't blogged about round 28.

It's a lot of rounds of chemo I've blogged about now, and a lot for you to read about. They all have their own little variations, they are all their own little adventures, and they are all tough. But here we are.

I'm finding it a little hard to blog at the moment for various reasons. One is that the treatment is tough on me and sitting up at my computer and typing and making sense are all just too hard to do in a timely fashion. Then by the time I am feeling better, I want to get on with other things. I've reflected on enough rounds of chemo now, I want to move on and I do (sort of) have a lot to do.

How do I have sort of a lot to do? I don't have much to do compared to a normal busy person. I'm not a normal person anymore. I need a stick to walk short distances and a wheelchair for longer distances. I can't pick things off the floor myself. I can't get out of certain chairs myself. I can't lift heavy things. Even a full bottle of milk is heavy to me now. Everything I do takes ages. Everywhere I go is a procedure. What drugs do I need to take with me, how am I going to move around, what is the access like, how long will I manage for? This is me on a normal day. On bad days I can't even get out of bed.

But the sun rises every day. Every day I get to see my wonderful husband, and I often hear from people I love. If I do get out of bed I see the mountain and trees and birds and clouds out of my window. And that is on a bad day.
'A Bad Day'

At this point I was going to leave talking about Round 28 but it turns out my love of record keeping means I just have to put something down now. If I don't it will be gone forever.

Round 28 almost didn't happen as it turns out my white blood cell is a little high. I thought this sounded like a good thing but it can be a sign that I have an infection. If my body is already fighting an infection, giving it some chemotherapy to contend with is a bit much.

After a second blood test and a thorough consult, I was allowed to go ahead with the chemo.

Round 28 day was a very wet day after a long spell of beautiful sunshine. Our appointment was at 9am which I found a little early but we actually made it on time.
I don't fit into many of my clothes at the moment. Although my arms and legs are stick thin my stomach is very swollen and a lot of things I own are now just too tight. I'm not sure if I've worn this great little stripy green dress to chemo before. I got it while Op shopping with a friend many years ago. It has no pockets but it does have lots of room and good memories.

Today is my best day. My day before chemo. It might be my new blog day too in future.


  1. Hello sweetie, so good to hear the latest. I think I ought to be following you a bit more closely on facebook to catch up on the news.
    Things sound tough. Without our health we have nothing and it's such a terrible place for you to be in right now. But that's not helping you much is it? Sorry x
    Keep on keeping on is all you can do. Thanks for being honest and writing the truth of the matter. You're amazing.
    Sending you all my love
    Anna x

  2. Hi Felicity, I would just like to thank you for sharing your story with me in the GI Cancer Institute news letter.
    I have read most of your blog and I think it was very brave of you to speak at one of the GI forums. I could relate to a lot of your story having had bowel cancer 14 years ago.
    I wish you all luck in the world for your future.
    Kind regards, Dennis Lovatt

    1. Thank you Dennis, I really appreciate your supportive feedback

  3. Hi Fliss, just a continued 'thanks for sharing' message. I'm sorry life is so hard for you right now. You're so amazing at finding the good in the 'bad' days. What a woman! Love Anna & Tristen Xx

  4. Hi Fliss sending lots of love, I can't believe your going through all this, love and prayers coming to you from the UK And The Flowers xxx ♥️