No Chemo Today

I've been making the most of my new, longer gap between treatments.

I've been mostly feeling pretty well. I still have small side effects every day, but when my energy levels are good, I can handle those and still try and make the most of life.

Since my last blog entry, Dave and I have had interstate visitors, we've seen Joanna Newsome at the Sydney Opera House, we've visited interstate, and celebrated the Hottest 100.

Here's me (looking slightly crazy - or do I always look like this?) straying from my diet restrictions and enjoying an ice-cream. 

And it was fantastic. If you're only going to have one ice-cream this year, I recommend pepperberry & leatherwood and choc in a homemade waffle cone from The Chocolate Trading Co in Richmond.

I was booked to start round 9 of chemo today. I try and keep in mind how lucky I am to have access to this treatment. But that didn't stop a little part of me not wanting to have it.

And then, on Wednesday after my blood test, I started feeling unwell. The main symptoms being dizziness, light headedness and a bad stomach ache. I worked in the afternoon but I probably shouldn't have. I thought I'd got over doing things like that, I guess old habits die hard.

On Thursday I cancelled my shift at work, and Dave had to pretty much drag me out to my appointment with my oncologist. She checked me out and got me to have an x-ray, which showed up nothing. She told me not to go ahead with Chemo today though. And I felt, among other things, a little disappointed. And relieved. And scared. 

Now I'm not having chemo until the 19th of Feb. And that makes me a little disappointed, and relieved, and scared. My oncologist has assured me that the delay will make no difference at this stage in the effectiveness of the treatment. So really I should just enjoy the reprieve. I'm continuing to work on my fitness, doing my Home Exercise Program everyday (I didn't manage it on Thursday when I was feeling pretty rotten). I need to refocus on my diet and walking, these things have gone a little astray since my last round.

I'm feeling much better than I did yesterday, so I hope the trend continues, giving me time to build up my strength ready for the next round.

Round 8 Day 9

I realized with a bit of a jolt yesterday that it was 6 months to the day that I got my first symptoms. It was a bit of a strange feeling. I feel like I've missed the bus that had my life in it. Everyone around me is on their way to where they're going. And I'm not. I'm left behind. Its not a good feeling.

I walked to work the day before. I almost didn't as it was a hot morning, but I'm glad I did. It's a bit tiring when stacked against working too but I'm glad to be able to do it. I miss walking everywhere. I miss a lot of things these days.

So today brings us the sad news that Alan Rickman has died of cancer at 69. Like Bowie, it seems that no one knew he was sick. It also seems that at this point it's not been announced what kind of cancer, or how long ago he was diagnosed. In some ways, that kind of info doesn't matter, and in the past I wouldn't have even worried about it. Now I want to know.

And I want a cure. Now please.

This is the photo of the moment, it's all over social media. I have slightly mixed feeling about it. It's a cute tribute I guess, but it doesn't really help them or anyone else with cancer.

Round 8 Day 4 - Ashes to Ashes

Lets get the bad bits out of the way first:

• I spent all of Saturday in Bed. All of it.
• I spent all of Sunday morning spewing up.
• My skin is like paper. Thin paper. Really gross thin paper.
• David Bowie died today.

I don't like to focus on the negative, but sometimes it helps to acknowledge it. I'd already started writing this blog when I got the news about Bowie. Shows just how trivial my other grumbles are.

I'm not going to attempt to say something profound about his death or his life, I'm terrible at that. I am really sad about it, but I can't really put it into sensible words.

What I can find the words for is much more selfish. Bowie's is the most publicised cancer death I've encountered since my diagnosis. I have to admit that in some ways I've found it confronting. The news is still really fresh at the moment. Already I'm already struck by two things.

• The acceptance. It's hard to explain, I mean is there is no outrage, no shock. Just acceptance. Cancer. Game over. People aren't asking how his death could have been prevented.
• People in the media using the phrase 'long battle of 18 months'. 18 months is not a long battle. It's brutally short. I know no harm is meant but I don't like it.

OK grumbling over. Now the positive stuff:

• It's only day 4 and I'm up and about. I've had a pretty nice day.
• The nurses were really good about the spewing when I went in to get my bottle removed yesterday and organised some new meds which did the trick.
• One of our sunflowers is flowering!

I could go on all day about the positives, I have so much to be grateful for. Here's one last thing to be grateful about, from Actor Simon Pegg:

"If you're sad today, just remember the world is over 4 billions years old and you somehow managed to exist at the same time as David Bowie."

Round 8 Already?

So today I started my 8th round of Chemo. Its fair to say I was a lot more organised for this one than the last. I got my blood test done in a timely fashion, I took the bins out, I arrived at the hospital on time today.

It's a lovely summer day here in Hobart and Dave and I walked to the Hospital, for the early time of 8.30 am.

Now that they've removed one of the drugs, the whole process is much quicker.

I usually feel some mild effects as soon as treatment starts. Today I felt a bit queasy before they'd started! So I guess I can't blame the treatment there.

The nurses always do a great job and they have to ask me lots of questions about how I'm going each time. I'm in a funny place between old habits of ignoring little aches and pains, and being super alert and paranoid about every little ache and pain. So I end up giving the nurses lots of detail about things, and then tell them it's nothing! 

Dave and I walked home through the Domain, which was really nice. We took it slow and it was beautiful morning. 

I've felt a little tired today, but I've been able to be up and about all day, even going out for another little walk in the evening with Dave, Mum and the dogs. We saw the Aurora Australis ship heading up-river.

More Chemo! Round 7

Today and yesterday I have forgotten the following things:

Put the bins out

And it was recycling night. 

And they are FULL.

Dave and I produce very little waste for landfill, about 1kg/week, but we have 2 rubbish and 2 recycling bins for the 10 flats where we live.

And next week is Christmas so they won't be collected until next Saturday!

Have my blood test

It's very important to get a blood test before each round of chemo. This shows if I am well enough to have the next round. e.g. has my White Cell count gone up again enough to take another hammering. Luckily for me I am surrounded by people who have my back. Between Dave and the staff at the Royal I was able to get in and have my blood test 10 mins before closing.

Put emla cream on my port

Emla cream makes your skin go numb. I usually put some on the area over my port where they put the needle in for chemo. It needs about 30-60 mins to take effect. When I arrived at the Royal today I realised I'd forgotten. So today I got the needles full effect. It stung!! If had a blister on my hand while rowing, or if I grabbed some nettles while weeding, I'd not have made a fuss at all. But for needles I become quite a wimp. 

That Chemo was booked for 9 am - NOT 10.30 am

I have no idea how I got it mixed up. There I was happily getting ready when I got a call from the Royal, who were expecting me at my booked time of 9 am. They were very good about it. After discovering that instead of being right on schedule we were running very late, we decided to drive in instead of walk. This is the first time I've not walked to and from chemo. At least the 8 flights of stairs at the hospital still gave as a little workout!

If I've forgotten anything else, I haven't remembered yet to know about it!

I think it's pretty fair to say that despite having an extra 2 weeks to prepare, I really wasn't ready for chemo this round.

Chemo took less time this visit as we've cut out one of the drugs - oxaliplatin. I was told with no promises that this may mean less side effects too. Well so far so good. After round 6 I was hit hard right away. So far all I feel is a slight 'fuzziness', and slight chemical taste in my mouth. Dave made us a fabulous salad for our lunch, and I drank a chilled glass of juice with no problems, which is great to be able to do.

I sort of didn't quite pass the urine test today though. I have to do a test before each round of chemo now since another drug (avastin) was added to my treatment. It was a bit borderline today, so I still got the avastin but I now have to do this crazy urine sample where I collect EVERYTHING for 24 hours. They've given me a gigantic tub.

Tonight is my work's Christmas party. I'm really looking forward to it. I won't be drinking, and I have my little bottle as usual, but I'm very glad I'm going to be able to go!

Another Chemo-Free-Friday

I'm really enjoying not having chemo. As much as I'm grateful to have access to it, and prepared to put up with all the side effects it while it does its job, I'm not missing it either.

I went to the gym again today. It felt really good. I'm so lucky to have access to such great resource. I have the best provider of the most suitable exercises for me, with BODYSYSTEM Physio providing the Pinc Pilates program.

The workout I do is pretty tame compared to what I used to do, but it is perfect for me right now. My legs look like skinny little sticks compared to 6 months ago.

Exercise is so important. I've often found it to be a bit of a challenge to do enough. But if I thought it was hard before, it's harder now. I keep wanting to say it's more important now than ever, but I'm not sure that is true - its always super important and beneficial. 

After the gym Dave and I met Mum on Kingston Beach to walk the dogs, which was a lot of fun, and more exercise!

The Colonoscopy... of Joy

I've been looking forward to today, for several reasons. 

One, the colonoscopy is useful and important to get done. 

Two, I get to eat again once it's done. 

Three, voting for the Hottest 100 starts today.

And I must say it's been a day that ticked all the boxes. 

Once you've had one colonoscopy, major bowel surgery and various other smaller procedures, another colonoscopy is really no big deal.

Here is the extent of my suffering today:

We had to arrive at Calvary at 7.30 am, which is a bit harsh, then to reach the waiting room you have to walk past, almost through the hospital cafe which is a little cruel, then they subject you to Sunrise TV in the waiting room which is just horrible!

The nurses were lovely, one remembered me and Dave from my stay after surgery in August. The anesthetist did one of the most comfortable canulas I've had yet. 

I remember nothing of the procedure. I didn't have much sleep the night before and woke up feeling like I'd slept for hours (but still wanting to hit the snooze button).

And the procedure went well. The Doctor said I 'have a healthy bowel'. They didn't find any more polyps. It was a polyp that started this whole thing in the first place.

The view out the window from recovery - you can see our flat!

I've been googling polyps this afternoon. Causes are unknown but some evidence points towards unhealthy lifestyles or genetic factors. They are also more common in people over 60.  They rarely show any symptoms. Not all polyps will lead to cancer. Scary huh? So I just got one. With a healthy lifestyle, no genetic factors and at half the normal age group. And it turned into cancer.

If this was happening to someone I knew, I'd probably think 'ah I'm OK though'. But I'm still going to tell you all - you should all go and get yourself screened for all the screenable cancers. Now.

Anyway, my day today just got better and better.

After I came round they brought me some sandwiches and a coffee which I wolfed down, then Dave took me home and made me some delicious mushrooms on toast. 

Then I ate about 2 punnets worth of raspberries. 

Then we scoured the voting list for the Hottest 100.

27 Pages of fun

I had to sign a document this morning promising that I wouldn't drive, make important decisions, and other similar things for the rest of the day, and that I generally had to take it easy. Which I've most certainly done.